Friday Breakout 1

Option 2 

Lalita Salins 

The Crack Where the Light Gets in: Trauma Resolution in Couples Therapy

This presentation explores the complex interplay of trauma and resistance as they relate to the challenge of establishing true intimacy in committed partnerships. The workshop will delve into the unconscious dynamics that shape relationships, provide specific strategies to shift relational patterns driven by trauma histories, and explore the therapist's role in fostering healing, growth and transformation. We will examine the importance of recognizing abuse-related internalizations and their role in the defensive strategies partners adopt, which often perpetuate emotional and sexual disconnection and conflict.

Through a synthesis of insights from leading relationship and trauma theorists, the workshop will highlight key therapeutic strategies, including compassionate witnessing, essential boundary setting, and cultivating empathy and forgiveness. These approaches empower couples to navigate the paradox of protection, where the real self seeks connection while the defensive self avoids vulnerability.

The discussion will include actionable steps for transforming resistance into collaboration, fostering personal authority, and creating secure and empathetic relationships. By addressing the trauma-based fears and unmet needs of both partners, the therapist will learn to advocate for a therapeutic journey that not only resolves the trauma wound, but also builds true intimacy and mutual understanding.

Bio

In the early 90s, Lalita was one of the founding associates of Ottawa’s Centre for Treatment of Sexual Abuse and Childhood Trauma. She has 35 years of clinical experience working with children, adolescents, couples and families. Lalita offers workshops and trainings in the areas of self-injury, therapeutic use of countertransference, working with sexuality issues, and the uses of EMDR in trauma work. She is an Approved Supervisor with the American and Canadian Associations of Marriage and Family Therapy and was the clinical supervisor for the Mental Health Teams at the Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre and The Wabano Centre for Aboriginal Health. Lalita is also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She is now living in Ottawa again after a decade working as a sex therapist in her native NYC.